Coffee Shops and the Dead Pecker Society

All over this country, in rural communities and small towns, you will find a special group of older men gathering at each little establishment that sells fresh coffee.
Some call these groups of more advanced (age) Americans, coffee drinkers, the good old boys clubs etc.. They are made up of home grown philosophers, political pundits, practical technicians of junk and antiquities, historians, shade tree veterinarians and doctors, even scholars of coffee shop law.. But in about each and every group, there is at least one or more members of an elite association, the local chapter of the Dead Pecker Society.
While most members of this auspicious organization remain incognito, there are a few among them who do not care if you know they belong and embrace the glory of membership with relish. At the same time, others who would meet the initial qualifications of membership have no idea they could apply.
To understand the uniqueness of this group, one must have an understanding of the properties of pecker ownership. Each male is provided with the rudimentary makings of a pet pecker at birth. It doesn’t take long for the little pecker to demonstrate its potential for joyous exuberance. As time goes on, a deep and everlasting bond develops between the pet and its owner. At a certain stage in life the little critter grows not only in stature but willfulness. This provides it’s owner a great deal of challenge and excitement. Many years are spent learning to deal with the unruly companion. One is led into great but sometime perilous adventures that tend to dominate the owners life for many years.
This struggle is not without its great joys and triumphs which add to the timeless bond developing between the two. But there are great and seemingly never ending struggles and ordeals. At any point the owner experiences the great burdens which comes with ownership of a pecker for a pet and companion. One is expected both to master it benefits and to use it to deliver great pleasure and joy.. while never faltering or failing. The performance requirements become a great burden. The owner is even charged with the size and stature of his companion, even though he has no control over that aspect. Constantly feeling obligated to defend the little fellows luck, (or lack of it) from birth.
In the latter years the pecker becomes more easy to manage, while at times not being up to its old standards of performance. By then though, much as been learned by both of them, and great value to the owner and his wife develops….
Eventually for some,, the little fella becomes dull and uninterested. No matter how anyone tries, some just fade away until they are dead. From this point their only purpose in life is purely a directional one. Handiness is limited at keep the floor dry and the owners shoes clean.
And this, friends is where the owner as a decisions to make. Does he carry around his lifeless little friend, sheepishly tucked away and snuggled close by, while feeling demoralized, ashamed and greatly depressed.. or does he study the great things that this befalls him?
At this point in his life, if the owner has his primary head in the right place…he can discover the great liberties born of this tragedy. Once he embraces this, then he is eligible to join the great brotherhood of the Dead Pecker Society.
Their motto “Freedom thru Dysfunction”: describes the mortal escape from performance demands, affection demands and he can give up that dreadful addiction of always trying to get it! Pretty girls discover he is a nice guy, no longer a threat. The old boy gets to enjoy hugs and kisses from women who would never touch him otherwise
. He may even get to cop a small feel here and there, even though, the purpose of which, will probably escape him. No more does he worry about disobedience from his friend, nor the nagging in the company of beauty. He can forget the fact that women had become like the national Geographic… great visions of places he would never get to go.

So the next time you happen upon a group of advanced coffee drinkers in a small town.. look for the one with a extra calm and satisfied demeanor, who looks at you like a green pasture or a hill sides of beauty. Give the old boy and hug and a kiss on top of his head you will stimulate a part of his tired old brain that has seldom been used until the death of his little friend.